Love

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Love.

It’s all around you if you just believe in yourself and let it happen. If you take the time to really examine who you are, to feel comfortable with yourself, love will come to you. Love comes along when you least expect it. True love is being married to your best friend. Love is never giving up on the other person.

I used to hate reading those things. Especially the last one. Like if you “give up” on your love and/or marriage you are a terrible person. That’s just not true.

Sometimes love changes. Sometimes people change, but don’t change together or change in a way that isn’t able to be accepted by the other person. And I don’t think that makes either person terrible. Just too different to remain in love with each other. Too different in goals and dreams and desires to continue without losing part of who they are inside. People grow up, stop pretending to be something they aren’t anymore or maybe never were. People get tired of not being accepted for all their quirks, for their core.

What I do believe is that there is a lot of love in the world and it really does seem to come out of nowhere sometimes. Suddenly. Completely unexpected. Often at the wrong time. Other times at exactly the right time.

Like now.

I am me again now and for the last 19-20 months I have explored who that is to the point where I feel completely comfortable being alone and content. I began to imagine a life of me and my children, family, friends, and/or dogs traveling, exploring, and having fun doing wherever we want. I started to tell myself I don’t need to share that with anyone else because I’m so happy to finally be understanding myself and I won’t sacrifice or modify any of that for another person ever again.

And I won’t.

It seems I now have an awesome opportunity to truly understand and accept myself. And that makes me exactly the right person for someone else. At the right time for both of us to be open to it.

And that feels good. Ridiculously good. It took me by surprise when the friendship began awhile back, but then all at once I just let my walls down and the feelings came flooding in and took over. And as we both said just who we are and prepared for the other person to run the other way, something really awesome happened.

Complete acceptance. For the good, the not so great, the crazy, the weird, and the truly awesome depth of who we are as individuals.

People will say it’s crazy, too soon, too fast, and maybe other things too. But I don’t care.

I’m totally in love.

One definition reads like this — in love: inspired by affection.

I feel inspired. And I feel affection. I feel inspired by that affection. I looked those words up too. And they’re completely accurate words for what I feel.

This love feels way too good to hide it. So I won’t. And I’m so glad to have it that I wake up each day with a feeling of knowing why all the things that have happened so far in my life had to happen.

To prepare me for the love I have for myself and who I truly am. And to prepare me to be able to accept love from another person. To see it for all the things that love can be for us. And to get me to understand what it means for me to love someone else for exactly who they are inside and out.

I feel lucky. I feel grateful. I feel beautiful just the way that I am. I feel ready. And that’s amazing. I love that!

I’m in love. And I won’t try to stop that. Not today. Not ever. I’m just going to let it happen.

KK

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