Tag Archives: advocacy

The importance of men


*men are also victims of sexual assault and I understand that completely, but general information is not my point for this post

I saw this PSA today. It made me tear up a bit. Seeing men take part in change where sexual assault is concerned makes me feel very happy. Validated. If you are a man in my life (family, friend, more), you absolutely must be the type of guy who I can count on to stand up on this issue. If you won’t, then you’re not my friend, family, and you will most certainly never be more to me.

Here is the link to the PSA seen on BuzzFeed.  A Bunch Of Famous Men Star In White House PSA On Sexual Assault http://www.buzzfeed.com/jtes/a-bunch-of-famous-men-star-in-white-house-psas-on-violence-a?s=mobile

First of all, you should WANT to be the type of man that makes women feel 100% comfortable. You have a mother, a grandmother, maybe a sister or a daughter, aunts, cousins, female friends. It is so important for men to take part in changing rape culture and tolerance for sexual assault.

I don’t need you to stand on the steps of government buildings with signs of support. Unless you want to, then you’re extra awesome.

But I do need you to do something.

It’s not comfortable to stand on a street with advocacy signs. It’s not comfortable to confront someone using the word rape inappropriately or victim blaming.

But it IS absolutely necessary.

One of the best things my husband ever did for me when we were married was participate in a display of anti-rape signs on a very busy street. Even when the police came and tried to get the group to stop. I was blissfully happy most of our years together and always felt loved. But I felt more cherished and loved that day than any other day in our marriage. And that is not even a little bit of an exaggeration.

If your friend makes a joke about rape, you stop them and explain why that isn’t funny. If you want to provide an example, you feel free to talk about my experience. I don’t keep it private, so that’s my permission to use my story for GOOD. If you work with people who find rape funny, or use “I was raped” when you mean “I was taken advantage of financially,” STOP IT.


Think about the women in your life. Right now. Imagine for a moment how those women would feel hearing a joke about the most horrifying trauma that may have or could happen in her life. Then imagine how she would feel hearing you add to the laughter. How awful! How invalidating. How truly unacceptable.

Stand up, men. Do something to show your support and the need for change. That is the definition of a good man.